recently, i've been begging God for some answers. specific answers. or even just general answers to my specific questions.
the awesome thing is that He is giving me answers. . . it just took a while for me to realize what He was saying really was in direct answer to my questions.
the hard thing was that a part of me still wanted to protest that He wasn't answering my questions fully.

yes, He was speaking to me - uniquely and personally - but it didn't seem like the full answer. i still didn't feel like i got the answer that i was looking for, the one that satisfied me.
what i got was 2 words. one at a time. over and over in many different ways. random bible verses, lyrics to songs, a sentence in my devotions for the morning. . . everywhere i turned, i kept running into these 2 words. over and over again:


   and



finally, i got it. and finally, i've realized that, although they still don't feel like the "complete" answers to these questions that only God can answer, they ARE His answers to me right now. He knows what i want and what i need. i believe He loves me and wants what is best for me. so, He's asked me to wait. and, He's given me hope to make the waiting easier.

Psalm 33:20-22

In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name.

May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you.

is there anything that you feel God has been impressing you with lately?

i recently heard a talk/mini-sermon that really encouraged me. it was titled "when God is silent" and really struck home to me because lately i've been feeling a little like God is not giving me the answers i need.......

the speaker started off with the story of the canaanite woman who comes to Jesus to beg for mercy since her daughter is demon-possessed. (matthew 15) Jesus first ignored her (and the disciples wanted to make her go away), and then tells her that he was sent only to the israelites, and its not right to take the children's food and give it to the dogs. she replied "yes, but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from the master's table." then, Jesus told her that she had great faith and her request was granted, and her daughter was healed from that moment.

the speaker then went on to talk about how it can actually be a compliment when it seems like God is silent..... he pointed out that, when people were unsure if Jesus was really the Son of God, He was always quick to reassure them. but, when they knew who He was and what He could do, He let more time go by before He answered their request. this wasn't as much to test their faith as it was knowing that they could wait a little longer, because their faith was strong enough for that. (kind of like how we give babies food right away when they need it, but as they get older, start waiting until meal times.... the kids are still hungry, we just know that they can wait until the meal is served)

at first it seemed like Jesus was ignoring her, but did that cause her to give up? no, she just came even closer and asked again. even when other people (the disciples) discouraged her, she didn't give up. she knew that Jesus could heal her daughter, she had the faith that He could do it. even when He possibly insulted her by comparing her with a dog (although a better translation would be "puppies", which isn't quite as harsh), she still had faith in Him. Jesus then points this out - "woman, you have great faith!" and grants her request. He knew that her faith was strong enough to stand a little "testing", and used her to show the disciples (and anyone else around) the measure of her faith in Him.

its really encouraging when i think about it - God knows that, although i desperately want to know what to do or what comes next, that i have enough faith in Him to be able to wait........ and even though i hate waiting (i mean, who really does like waiting?!?) and i sometimes feel like i am going to go crazy with all this uncertainty, its comforting to know that God believes in me. and, who knows, maybe my faith will encourage others in their own walk.

do you struggle with the feeling that God is just not hearing you, or not answering you?
how do you cope with those feelings?